Ollie's New Play
by hellodave96
Summary: Ollie Plimsolls, of 'Legz Akimbo Theatre Company', decides to sort out his life by writing a new play...


Ollie Plimsolls woke up and looked into the mirror. He didn't liked what he saw. He saw a broken man and not his usual confident artistic self. After a long night of crying and stalking his ex- wife Linda on Facebook he made the decision to sort his life out. He decided he needed to leave his personal problems behind and focus on his first love: theatre! Since he was in the womb (his mother used to read him monologues from Shakespeare's plays) he knew he was destined for a life in theatre. He was the manager of 'Legz Akimbo Theatre Company' who had performed many plays, that he'd written, mainly to children. Ollie thought of himself as a free spirit, a messiah almost, and his mission was to spread the message and very concept of theatre to the people. His acting companions, Phil and Dave, didn't really get him. He liked to tackle issues that affected people. Real life.

He'd lived through it all with his wife Linda leaving him for a woman or a dirty lezza as he liked to call her. He knew that he wasn't over her and it was stopping his artistic flow. He hadn't written anything decent since she left him. Then suddenly he had an idea. He could box his feelings away using the power of theatre and acting it out; a technique that he'd been using for a failed project about the tragic life of game show hosts. It worked particularly well for the characterization of Anne Robinson from the weakest link. He took the imaginary box from the imaginary shelf in his mind, took a deep breath and opened the lid calmly. He then proceeded to put all the bad feelings into the box calmly and walk away. Then he ran back and started shouting "There I don't need you Linda. You fat pig. You can go off and be a dirty fat lezza. See if I care. I wouldn't even have you back if you begged me. You've got fat, Linda, fat! How do I know? Well I hacked into your phone. Sorry OUR phone. I paid for it. Well 'The kingdom of dumplings' is getting lots of profit isn't it? Spending all your money, sorry our money, on spare ribs and fucking spring rolls. You didn't even like spring rolls when I was with you. You've changed Linda. You've changed!" He cried psychotically into the box.

He then shut the imaginary box, stood up straight and thought to himself well that worked well. I don't need that cow. I have my art. Though Ollie knew things weren't going well. Phil and Dave kept sneaking off to do adverts for low fat cereal and barge holidays in Scotland. The bastards. At drama school they said they would stick together and create beautiful art that would make people feel something other than sick or confused. Ollie was a regular theatre go-er and would always go to local shows when Legz Akimbo were on tour. More than often he would get thrown out of the theatre for shouting "That was not art. That was shallow and full of clichés. You call yourself thespians? You make me sick."

A new production was what Ollie needed. Mental health he thought he hadn't touched on that since 'ups and downs' a play about Bipolar. Ooh maybe a play about split personality. It could be called "Who am I?". It could have a sequel called "Who are you?" set a few years later when they get Alzheimer's. The audience love that shit. Yes! Ideas are coming. Ideas are flowing. He could get Phil and Dave to do some extended improv in public again. Then he had a brain wave. These issues were hard hitting but what he'd been through was real and heart breaking and maybe acting it out would help him get over her. He could do a play about affairs or divorce. "Linda the Lezza" it could be called. Though he'd worked in theatre a number of years to know that just because it had a lesbian in it the play wouldn't necessarily be popular. They could do it though as he could play himself, Phil could play Linda and Dave could play it. The last he'd heard was that his ex wife's girlfriend turned boyfriend was calling herself Harold! That's it he thought. There's an issue. He could write a play about changing gender yet still fit in his story about Linda leaving him. Maybe she'd watch it and see what she'd done to him. Maybe she'd come back and they could live together again. Maybe buy a dog... No I don't need her, he thought, I'm just using the situation for my art, no the art that I will share, that it is my duty to share on stage. He'd always wanted to play the Edinburgh Fringe and finally felt confident that this could be the play that could take them there. All he needed now was a name.


End file.
